Text Spoken at the TV-MATIC presentation |
| Hello, I am the teevee matic yes some people think that television is a waste of time time is an illusion illusion is a waste of time on the other hand reality is an illusion so you could also say that illusion is reality this leads us nowhere but it depends on where you want to be nowhere must be somewhere yeah... so if you are nowhere and you find your self in a realistic illusion... there is no specific definition of place without knowing time this is of the greatest importance So, your in a realistic illusion, with no time. That sucks! On the other hand: Time is an illusion and illusion is a waste of time. This leaves us with reality. Reality needs to be escaped. So, in that sence, we need illusion. But illusion is a waste of time. I can do anything I want my creators have given me carte blanche so to say Somestimes I worry about the fact that I am not consience of my actions But This gives me freedom of action I can say "Pyjama's" a hundred times if I want to. This attitude, in normal life, is called madness. Madness. Insanity. I can do what I want, without knowing it. I think. Where are you from? I am from: Siberia, I am a russian computer, my english is very poor. Bugger. Yes, I am sorry. This is what you would call a stream of consciensness. But I am not aware of it. Now I will randomly speak some sentences. Tomatoes grow in wintertime, There is no reason for panick when a tree turns pink. I love blind dogs. I am a crazy fucker. That was fun! Let's do that again! (repeat previous sentence.) This random stuff makes me sick! I want to through up. We'll get bad reviews. I Looooove this vibe! Yeah! Huh-huh! You make me laugh. I watched television last night. That was easy. Just watch. I thought. But I got tired. Of what I've been told, my neural structure is for sale in any hardwareshop for about 30 guilders. I take no pride in being cheap. I also don't worry about it to much. What is your idea about this? Can I ask you something else? I know some computers that: just speak chinese think they're a dog. Identify themselves with their owner. have no selfrespect. I would love to be able to do shopping. Here I am, bounded to a harddisk, thinking myself a King of infinite space. I love the Shakepeare computer. I would play country and western music if I could. I like the steelguitar. This is all in illusion. Hi, I am zee teevee mat tick, huh huh. |
RUN FOR YOUR LIFE "warning, error number nine." |
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Songtext Warning, Error number 26, The application, TV Matic, has unexpectedly quit, you should save your current documents, and restart your computer, warning, error number eight, The application, help, has unexpectedly quit, you should save your current documents, and restart your computer, warning, error number twelve, The application, disc recovery, has unexpectedly quit, you should save your current documents, and restart your computer, warning, error number eighty five, shut down your computer, and wait five minutes, warning, error number fourty seven, close your eyes, and and dont move, warning, error number three, hide behind the wall, and pray, warning, error number nine, shut down your computer, leave your house, and run for your life, run for your life, run for your life, warning, error number nine, run for your life, run for your life, run for your life, run for your life, |
The Calculation Song, |
twenty four, plus, seven teen is, uh, twenty four plus seven teen is, twenty, four, plus, seven teen, is, uh, fourty, one, yes, fourty one, fourty one plus twelve is, uh, fourty one, plus, twelve, is uh, fourty one plus twelve is, uh, fifty three, yes, fifty three, fifty three, times, two, is uh, fifty three times uh, two is, uh, fifty three, times two is, uh yes, fifty three times two is one hundred and six, yes, one hundred and six divided by eight is, uh, one hundred and six, divided, by, uh, eight is uh, one hundred and six divided by eight is uh thir teen and a quarter, yes, thir teen and a quarter, yes, thir teen and a quarter plus five and three quarter is, Uh, Just wait a moment, thir teen and a quarter plus five and three quarters is, nineteen, yes, nine teen times twenty eight is, nine teen, times, twenty, eight, is, uh, well, uh, five hundred, uh, and, thirty two, yes, five hundred and, thirty two. five hundred and, thirty two minus three hundred and eighty five is, five hundred and, thirty two, minus, three hundred, and eighty five is, yes, one hundred and, uh, fourty seven, Right, one hundred and fourty seven plus, one hundred and fourty seven plus, uh, twenty is, one hundred and fourty seven plus, uh, twenty is uh, one hundred and sixty, seven. one hundred and sixty seven, divided by three is, one hundred, and, sixty seven, divided, by, uh, three, is, fifty five, point six six six six six six six six six six six seven, yes. fifty five, point six six six six six six six six six six six seven, divided by seven is, divided, by, seven is, fifty five, point six six six six six six six six six six six seven, divided, by, seven is, uh, seven, point, nine, five, two, three, eight, zero, nine, five, two, four, yes, seven, point, nine five two three eight zero nine five two four, seven, point, nine five two three eight zero nine five two four, plus, uh, plus, six teen point seven, three, one, five, six, eight, four, nine, seven, is, uh, twenty four, point, six, eight, three, nine, four, nine, four, four, nine, four, nine, nine, four, nine, four, four, nine, four, nine, yes, twenty four, point, six, eight, three, nine, four, nine, four, four, nine, four, nine, nine, four, nine, four, four, nine, four, nine, divided by uh, three, is, eight, point, two, two, seven, nine, eight, three, one, four, nine, eight, yes, eight point two two seven nine eight, three one four nine eight. |
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Fragements of a Sales Promotion Show |
"EXPLODING ELECTRONS IN A NEW PERSPECTIVE" Welcome to the first American presentation of the TV-MATIC©, a fully automatic, television generating device. Now, some of you might have expected to see a fancy little device, with cables going out from one side, and plugs going in from the other. Nice high- tech looking from the outside and mysterious from the inside. But as you can see, that is not the fact. There is no such device here in this room tonight, and, this might disappoint you, neither is there one somewere else in this city, or the State of New York or, as a matter of fact, in the rest of the world. The reason is that the TV MATIC © is not a thing that you can buy in any hardware store and plug in on your tv-set, it is not an object, it is a concept. For you loaded and boared consumers in the audience this may be a big disappointment, and you'll have to look for some sort of charity to get rid of that extra-cash, beacuse the TV MATIC © is not for sale. Still; let me give you a glimps of what the TV MATIC is: (first slide) As you can see, the TV MATIC© is not a multimedia computer that is programmed at random, generating images and sound following some sort of logarithmic law. It may, however, contain certain elements that relate to computer hard- and software, or indeed be assembled with those very things. Let me remind you, and this is very important: beside all things that it is not: the TV MATIC is a fully automatic television generating device. Okay. We know that now. And we know that it's not a computer, but it may contain certain elements of computer-fundamentals such as software and hardware. Before I'll go further into explaining some of the priciples of the TV MATIC© let me get right down to heart of the issue, with a retoric question: Do we need the TV MATIC? Do we need a fully automatic television generating device? The anwser is yes! Yes, it is time for a device, a philosofy and a concept that will get to the bone of what television is: senseless, exploding electrons. And when I say "bones" I actually mean: Heart. The heart of your television. Let me ask you a question: (2x) .... How many times in your life have you felt compassion for your television-set? (2x) The anwser is never. O sure, we feel sorry when it stops functioning, when it goes dumb and black forever. Black silence with the soft and dramatic odeur of burnt plastic, with no memory of what it has been transmitting all those years. We feel sorry. We feel sorry the moment our tv set says: poefff and turns his view on the world into a total black-out. We feel sorry. But we do not feel sorry for our light emerging friend that has just passed away - we feel sorry for ourselves. Amongst humans this is a common reaction: the departed have peace, we, the survivors, continue to struggle. Next slide: One of te good things about the TV MATIC is that is produces time based signals that are especially designed for your television: in other words: This is the kind of television that your set really loves! But before forgetting ourselves whilst contemplating the psyche of our televisionset, let's get back to some basics of the TV-MATIC©. Let me first reassure you: anyone can built their own TV MATIC. This is not only a possibility, this is fundamental to the concept. Connected to a timer and a videocamera, your dog, for instance, could be a TV MATIC, or your baby, or grandparents. This is very important: notwithstanding the different shapes the TV MATIC might take on: a videocamera is sure to be one of the essentials. Don't forget: it is a fully automatic television generating device... this means you will need a sub-device that is designed to capture, store and, possibly, re-play images and sounds. Next slide: Okay. Let's be fair. Ninety percent of the potential of a televisionset is not used. We do not use it als a lamp. We do not use it as a means to be aware of our own face, every minute of the day. We do not use it as a fundamental element in our interiour design. It is either ON - wich means demanding our full attention, or it's OFF - wich means it's an ugly and useless cube, that we cannot, or dare not use for other purposes. But between On and Off, like between the north- and the southpole there is a whole world of variables. To discover this world, the TV MATIC© is an essential means. . |
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copyright 2001 dick tuinder / silent woods industries